It wasn't gurning. Really, it wasn't.

There was a slightly more business-like feel to the beginning of last night's rehearsal.  Registers to be marked off on, address lists and contact details to be checked - Ali and Martin probably knew all along, but now that the cast has been announced, there's a greater awareness that this show is Really Happening.  And pretty soon, too, all things considered.
   We started off with a warm-up.  Martin likes to run these himself, rather than Joe, so that he can mess with us.  There's no other description for it.  A lovely pattern of scales and arpeggios gradually getting higher and higher until suddenly - we go down.  And then we go up again.  And then down again.  And then... down again.  I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not so used to the progression of harmonies as we go down, so as I listen, if I don't recognise the sequence, we must be going down.  It's probably not the best way to identify the note to be sung.  Then, having limbered up our listening, Martin honed our counting skills.  Holding the note at the top of an arpeggio shouldn't be that difficult, but Martin had to count us quietly through it, then count us loudly through it, gesture with his hand and finally he resorted to doing a nodding dog impression so that he could keep both hands on the piano.
   Time for some singing.  We had looked at 'Sit Down' before, but that was when most of the altos were learning the Hot Box audition dance, and besides, it was at least a decade ago, so we split into parts again and worked on the harmonies.  Initially, some of the harmonies sounded reminiscent of a Stockhausen protégé, but gradually we modulated into something resembling Loesser.  For a couple of sections, we even managed to sing it reasonably without looking at the music, which considering there are places where, for a bar and a half, the altos and the tenors switch line, is probably easier. 
   Then we moved onto the section of 'ooh's.  Martin wanted to change some of this to 'ah', and had also added in a minim rest, and the combination of this proved strangely tricky.  We had several goes at just saying the oo-ah-oo in rhythm, before trying to switch it back to a musical version.  Then the final phrase was changed to 'oo-to-re-sist'.  More talking practice (not that some people needed it - there had already been threats to separate chatterboxes!) before trying to sing it.  We then moved on to singing it with Ian M singing the solo line above us all.   And then without the music in our hands.  All these progressively harder steps proved so challenging that we needed help, which we received in the shape of Martin.  Or rather, the shape of Martin’s face.  Gibbon impressions? Possibly.  It wasn’t as bad as gurning, and yes, it did help.  But I suspect if he had had to carry on for much longer, Martin’s face would have ached.
   After perfecting that phrase, or at least improving it, we moved on to the phrase that ends with ‘praise the Lord’.  Martin wants a really emphatic 'duh' at the end of the final Lord, a somewhat cheesy sound at the moment.  We actually had trouble making it cheesy enough for him.  I do wonder if he’s just encouraging that so that a few people remember on the night and the audience hear a final consonant, but time will tell.
   A new challenge now.  Singing it through from the beginning, with Ian doing the solo line still.  We reached the very last phrase, in which the rhythm changes for the chorus.  We’d been doing so well!  Martin kept muttering about the possibility of cutting those few bars, but somehow I doubt that will happen.  Instead, we rehearsed it over and over and over and ... even Joe lost his place at one point.  Finally, Martin let us go on to the final few bars but the sopranos were instructed to avoid the top C.  Always. 
  Time for coffee.  Martin has assured us that the tricksy rhythmic bit will be slower than the rest of the song, but after coffee we would be doing it a couple more times, just to bed it in.  Ladies would then be allowed to go!  Other notices: next week is the last week on Guys and Dolls (for now) but we will be auditioning new accompanists, so it could be interesting.  The week after, all being well, we’ll be auditioning new MDs, so everyone is encouraged to attend and give feedback.  The power!
  The post-coffee sing-through was ... not that bad, actually.  So Martin allowed the ladies to go, although there was a word from Ali first.  She had made a list of everyone she thought was taking part, whether they were there last night or not, and had assigned a role to everyone.  A few were tourists, a couple shopkeepers, but the main words I heard were ‘hooker’, ‘gambler’ or ‘member of Salvation Army’.  A lot of laughter ensued any of those, particularly when someone had to be, for example, a tourist and then quickly change to become a hooker.  Anyone who was playing a member of the Salvation Army needs to make sure that their up-to-date measurements are available for Gillian (in charge of costumes) as presumably they will need to have jackets that do up as part of their outfits.
   So the ladies and Joe left, fairly quietly, and Martin took over on the piano (his description of it is censored).  Gents had to work on Luck Be A Lady again, and then ‘The Oldest Established’.  Trying to get the harmonies right on the former and the rhythm right on the latter took a little while; there was a suggestion that it was something to do with them being crap shooters, but I think it’s more likely to be the piano at fault.  The real question now is, will we all remember these harmonies and rhythms next week?  And at some point, Martin and Ali are bound to ask us to sing without books...